Let’s dive in: the feels are so fucking real. Looking back to my kickstarter/look book shoot, I am at a loss for words but also, have SO much to say. The night before I couldn’t sleep because I was so anxious and excited- my mind was buzzing with so many thoughts:
“What if I fuck this all up?!”
“What if I forget something?”
“Did I print enough scripts?!??”
“Ugh, I forgot about food- I DIDN’T ASK ABOUT ALLERGIES!!!!!!”
“COFFEE- how could I forget COFFEE?” *texts bf frantically* “PLEASE MAKE BOX OF COFFEE OMGGGGG”
“I’m in debt. SO much debt…like I can only eat ramen and pasta debt.”
Before I knew it, I was at a WeWork in Williamsburg getting my hair and makeup done, thinking how surreal this all was. They were here for ACE. I’m here for ACE. What. The. Damn. Hell?!
“I feel so insecure….how am I supposed to pretend to be confident?!”
“ACE is all about female empowerment…I literally want to hide in a hole.”
“Will people even want to hear my story? What’s so great about my story…”
All of a sudden, Depeche Mode comes on the radio, silencing my frantic thoughts. Depeche Mode is my Dad’s favorite band of all time. It was as if he was telling me:
You got this. I’m with you. I’ve been with you the whole time.
I teared up, but held it all back since my amazing makeup artist, Noël, did a *KILLER* job. But I told everyone in the room about my Dad. Noël said, “He’s with you. You got this.”
The shoot went so smoothly, perfectly, I can even say- which is apparently unheard of. We stayed on track and even ended the day early. A huge shout out to Willa Kammerer and Victoria Ng for putting together the most rockstar #girlsquad I could’ve ever asked for.
Producer: Willa Kammerer
Video Director: Victoria Ng
Assistant Camera: Mirella Cardoso
Hair Stylist: Jessica Begonia
Makeup Artist: Noël Jacoboni
Model: Imani McCormick
Photographer: Nicole Angeles
We talked about crystals, female empowerment, zodiac signs…AND to make this day even more amazing, the universe gifted us with a solar eclipse. The moon vibes were out of this world. I truly felt in my bones, something in me changed. My zodiac sign is a cancer, which means i’m ruled by the moon. Apparently, it’s my time to get shit done in the world, and I am so about it.
I have to emphasize how important it is to believe in one another. I walked into that room not believing in myself, forgetting why I started ACE. But I had 7 women tell me otherwise, that my story is worthy, I AM worthy, and ACE is worthy.
It is such a powerful feeling when someone believes in you. All of a sudden, the storm in your heart and soul find the clarity to do what you were meant to do.
Here is my declaration: I believe in you. I believe in your story. Your truth. I believe in what makes you afraid, and I believe that you can conquer it.
The world needs what you’ve got.